getting there

... I have imagined this conversation a thousand times that it is old news and yet every time I do, fresh tears still come streaming...

... I have a lot of questions and as I imagine you answer each one of them, the conversation takes unexpected turns, road blocks and eventually dead ends... 

... yes I have a lot of questions - I tried to find the answers by revering the past - racking my brains for subtle signs in your actions and words - over analyzing the littlest detail and obsessing over everything as I tried to give my self the closure that I think I needed...

... but then I realized I didn't need answers to my questions - having the answers won't give me closure for closure comes from acceptance and acceptance will have to come from within...

... I have accepted the fact that you have moved on away from me but it does not mean it has stopped hurting because the thing about getting your heart broken is that it's too damn hard to pick up the pieces and put them back together...

...there are times when I thought I have succeeded in putting my heart back together but I guess I did it hastily that everything fell apart again with the slightest reminder of what used to be...

... there are times that I felt at peace - slowly putting back the pieces of my heart then a memory of you would squeeze itself out and dance around my thoughts that I'd stop and abandon the process...

... you have moved on - I honestly gave myself a good crying the day I learned that fact... I allowed my mind to wander dangerous terrains - calculating your every action and again asking why? when? how? who?... when I had felt spent crying, I stopped and prayed...

I prayed to for courage to look not at what was but ahead on what will be... I prayed for strength not to look at you for answers nor at her for the qualities that I seemed to lack... I prayed for guidance to keep my focus on the Lord and find myself in Him... 

I am not angry at you - I pray for the best for you in terms of your family, career, service and personal relationship...

... you will always be my friend - I may feel shy and awkward to come up to you and say "hi!" but always know that I always wish you well...

I will always look back at our time together as a beautiful learning experience and I thank God for giving the gift of you - I am sorry for my shortcomings but please know that I loved you the best way I can by the best ways I know how...I pray for God's continuing guidance over you as He moulds you to be the person He ought you to be...

For all of this May God be Praised...

open your heart

came across this article on love...

There is no safe investment.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one…Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness…The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

Yes, love is painful. But as C. S. Lewis suggests, we can respond to any relationship with either a closed, hellish heart, or an open, heavenly heart. If you keep your heart open, that same pain can become a purifying pain, a strengthening pain.

If we choose forgiveness over bitterness, that pain can heal instead of hurt. Instead of a pain that divides, it can be a pain that binds. Instead of a pain that breaks us down, it can be a pain that builds us up.

Fear, hatred and selfishness? Those are easy. But, Hell is easy. Faith, love, and selflessness? Those are hard. But, Heaven is hard — and rewarding.

without words

Have you ever experienced a time when you wanted to say something but could not find the words? have you ever felt that sometimes your heart just does not seem to connect to that part of your brain responsible for processing your thoughts and feelings into words thus you are unable to express yourself no matter how hard you try?

It is when we feel intense emotions - when we are taken by surprise; when we are nervous; hurt or weighed down by our own anxieties, worries and fears that the mind just cannot seem to grasp the gravity and plethora of emotions we are in that our lips are silenced.

Incidents like this are not limited to conventional social situations but can occur during our personal prayer times as well.  We pause and say our prayers but they somehow feel uninspired and routinary.

Quite ironic isn’t it? Just when we desperately need to commune with God are we unable to reach out to Him. We falter with hearts feeling disconnected with what we are saying that our personal prayers seem like empty words as we struggle to tell God how we feel.

We often think of prayer as a verbal conversation with God but it does not have to be.  Without words we can commune with God by listening to worship songs and just getting lost in the music and lyrics; by offering our daily tasks for His glory; by reading inspirational books and the scripture…

… by simply spending sometime alone, finding beauty in our surroundings and focusing only on Him – by using all our other senses to connect with Him because drawing close to God means reveling in His presence, feeling comforted by His warm embrace and finding peace in silence.

When we stumble with the words of our prayers may we learn to pause and rest in knowing that God hears the silent cries of our hearts and before long, mouths will again proclaim God’s greatness and glory.

For all of this May God be Praised.

unity not uniformity

Striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace – Ephesians 4:3

We all have different personalities and yet we are all together in peace and unity in the SFC Community. What binds us together? Our father, St Agustine, wrote, the members of Christ are united among each other by the charity of unity, which at the same time unites them with their Head, who is Jesus Christ.”

From our formation, we are taught that it is an act of love to keep our unity with each other. It is love that unites us. Unity, not uniformity, is the name of the game.

Reflection: do you belong to a Christian community? How do you practice loving each other?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, make us one as You and the Father are one. Only Your grace and Your Holy Spirit can do this in us, Lord, and we pray that You will be with us always. Amen

Nobody is perfect... despite being in the SFC community for a couple of years now, there are still times that our own shortcomings, flaws and emotions get the better of us. Despite all these may we all look past each others’ imperfections without judgement but with genuine care and love as we continue praying for each other to be guided, empowered and molded into the person God wants us to be.

Let us be united as 1 under God’s loving care despite our personal differences as we learn and watch out for each other. Amen.

dream big

“Your faith has saved you.” – Matthew 9:22


I believe God has no problem blessing us. The question is, how much are we willing to receive? The answer lies in how much faith we have. Sometimes we pray for things but we don’t believe enough that we will receive them. How can God place big blessings in small containers?

If we’re willing to settle for small blessings, that’s all we’ll get. But if we want big blessings, we need shopping cart-sized faith.

 

Reflection: What are you praying for? Does your faith match the size of your request?

Prayer: Lord, I choose to believe — big time.

 

let us dream big, pray hard for it and work towards it with the grace and guidance of our God – nothing is impossible with Him!!!!

 

DREAMBIG, HAVE FAITH, OPEN OUR HANDS WIDE AND RECEIVE GOD’S SHOWER OF BLESSINGS!!!

de-clutter

“Because you acted as you did in not withholding from me your beloved son, I will bless you abundantly…” – Genesis 22:16


In this world, there is God, and everything else is “stuff.” Stuff can be money, work, ministry or family. Stuff is neither good nor bad. It only becomes bad if it hinders us from worshipping and loving God.

Oftentimes, we are too attached to stuff. We make it the sole reason for our happiness and meaning. In turn, we feel dissatisfied and empty because we seek happiness in the stuff of God, rather than the God of stuff.


Unstuff today. When you do, you leave a space for God to stuff you with better things.

 

Reflection: Stuff should lead you to God and His purpose for you, not away from Him. Is there any clutter in your life that needs to be unstuffed?


Prayer: Lord, may I have less stuff, and more of You.

 

While God has abundantly blessed us with ways and means to have a comfortable life – may we not forget Him in the midst of all life’s pleasures and seek more of Him, using what He has blessed us with to focus more on Him and be led to our purpose and meaning in life – may we also open our hearts and hands more to bless others as well…

 

We are blessed to bless!

handmade with love

  "Let us not love in word or talk, but in deed and in truth" 
-  1 John 3:18

     

Handmade with love - bookmarks for Chapter A1 brothers and sisters

soar

... May our faith carry what is written on these paper planes to God as we surrender to His will and allow Him to take control over our lives...

"bahala kna Lord"

“it was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give you.” – John 15:16

Cruise controls or auto pilot in cars and planes make it easier to travel long distances.

Just like our journey through life, we can trust that our cruise control – our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, will make our way smooth.

Reflection: Is your life messed up and too complicated? Simplify it. Go to Jesus!

Prayer: Jesus, you are the wind beneath my wings that make me sour over difficult situations.

  

The tagalog phrase “bahala kna Lord” (it's all up to you) seems simple but when you think about it, it’s a prayer of full trust isn't?

We put all our troubles in God hands and trust that no matter the situation He will see and help us through.

“bahala kna Lord… take control over all our worries, anxieties, daily stress and shortcomings, may we not let all these things put us down as we keep in mind that these trials, hurts, rejections and persecutions help refine us and mold us into a beautiful person who will be pleasing to You.Amen.

For all of this May God Be Praised!!!

to-do list

“yet I consider life of no importance to me, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to bear witness to the gospel of God” – Acts 20:24

If we can find it in ourselves to work extra hard to build successful careers and lucrative businesses, I’d bet that, like the apostle Paul who has traveled far and wide to spread the Gospel in spite of the inconveniences and dangers, we too could put in extra time,  effort and creativity into being witnesses for the Gospel every day – in our country, community, work places and homes. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to say we have run the good race and fought the good fight?

Reflection: What is the number one on your to-do list today? Is God in it?

Prayer: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, grant me the boldness and perseverance to proclaim Your Gospel today and every day of my life. Amen.

We are all missionaries called to spread the word of God. We should preach and proclaim. How does preach differ from proclaim?

By preaching we use words and proclaiming means we live it.

May we live our lives in such a way that we proclaim God’s goodness and victories in our lives.  Let’s make Him number one on our To-Do list.

forever childlike

I love kids. 

There is something about their innocent, carefree and worry free demeanor that puts me more at ease in their company.

With kids it is easier to forget your worries. 

With kids it is easier to let loose and just enjoy yourself without fear of looking silly because with them - the sillier, the better, which equates to more fun and laughter.

With kids it is easier to appreciate and find joy in the simplest of things.

With kids creativity overflows - with limits only to your imagination a box can be a ship or a castle and you and me can be prince and princesses from far away kingdoms or aliens from another planet.

It is not to say kids are just for fun and games – their curiosity and thirst for knowledge keep you on your toes as you should be of quick wit to answer seemingly simple but profound questions regarding just about anything.

This year on my birthday, I was blessed to have spent the day in service for Kids For Christ Camp. 

It was specially challenging at first for we were assigned to care for the youngest group in the batch, they all seemed shy and remained huddled in their seats. I was not quite sure how to coax them to participate and just started asking simple questions like what age they are, what color they like, commented on how cute their bags, head band and dresses were. 

Slowly they warmed up to us and I specially bonded with 4-year old MJ who found me funny, always wanted to sit on my lap and be close to me.

It was a day filled with fun activities geared towards teaching kids about God’s love; Jesus being their friend; the importance of praying and being obedient children at home and in school. 

The activities were brilliant in their simplicity as it required attention and participation from the kids – instilling in them the core values of being a Kid for Christ without them feeling lectured. There were craft making and short presentations by the kids where we helped them compose short songs and simple dance steps.

I wanted to do something special for the kids as a birthday treat, so I made marshmallow pops to share with them. I wanted to discreetly give the pops while they were enjoying their snacks but a dear CFC tita joyfully announced that it was my birthday and led the kids in singing the birthday song for and it felt heartwarming.

It was truly a different kind of birthday celebration. The physical exhaustion was nothing compared to the joy I felt in being surrounded by carefree and cleverly amusing kids full or energy, and with this I pray to be more like the children I was with that day – to not let adult world worries consume me and weigh me down but always have a happy disposition and thinks of problems as a tube of bubble soap can’t not fix... may we always be a kid at heart...

... and for all of this May God Be Praised!!!

The Heart of it

It is always a privilege to be tapped for service. I always think of it as an opportunity to give back to the community – to have a sense of purpose and live not just for yourself but for others as well.

 

In our last SFC activity – our Covenant Orientation Weekend, I was tapped to be part of the food committee tasked to prepare physical sustenance for the confirmed 41 participants and 20 service team members. The one day and a half activity required us to prepare 2 set of snacks, breakfast, lunch and dinner.

 

I was honestly overwhelmed by the task. The number of attendees and the amount of food we are to prepare in such short window of time (as we all have work) gave me the nerves. The wheels in my mind began turning – thinking of possible suggestions at how we can tweak the menu a bit to make the cooking easier without sacrificing taste and quality and shorten the preparation process to fit into our timeframe so that we can assist on other tasks and have time to listen to the talks as well.

 

When D-day came I was frazzled. I was anxious and asked my teammates what I could do to have the preparations be well underway - they just told me to relax and take the tasks one step at a time. It made me relax and snap out of my anxiety. It was what I needed to remind me of what service was all about and as I watched the tilapia fry with a sianse on hand – I am reminded of the joy I feel whenever I cook and serve food for my family and friends.

 

Often times we get too focused on service that we forget that it is not an opportunity to show off but to humbly make use of our talents to help others…

 

… that it is a way for people to see Christ is us…

 

… that it is a chance for us to share His blessings and spread the goodness of our Lord…

 

… a chance to show and tell people how we are transformed by His love…

 

We focus too much on delivering and exceeding people’s expectations that we forget the very core – the very essence of service which is to give back the glory and praises to God…

 

The experience was quite humbling and I am thankful for the opportunity and with this I pray that I may never be lost in the frenzy of it all, I pray constant reminders and for purity of heart focused not on the act but on the core of service.

... and for all of this May God be Praised!!!

Changes

“repent and believe in the Gospel” – Mark 1:15

The most important ingredient for change is the desire to change.

The word of God bears more fruit in people who are more open to change.

The word ‘repentance’ that was used in this passage came from the Greek word ‘metanoia’, which literally means a change of mind.

Once the mind is changed, the entire life follows.

Whether it’s a change of mind, heart or life, Jesus calls us to change for the better.

Reflection: What is God asking you to change in your life today?

 

Prayer: Change how I think, Lord, that I may be like You.

 

Today’s reading is very timely as our SFC Chapter had just concluded our Covenant Orientation Weekend.

A year over after I attended my first COW what did it mean for me?

The Covenant Orientation Weekend reminds us of our calling to make changes in our life – to make good our promise to God, to leave our old negative habits behind and make room for Christ to move and manifest Himself in our lives.

Change does not happen overnight – It is not easy to be a part of the SFC community but by making small changes in our prayer habits, in the way we deal with people around us, in our outlook in life, these small adjustments has become our way of life J

I started making changes in my life because it was ‘required’ - we are always lovingly reminded of our prayer time, to pray not just for ourselves but to intercede for other people as well, to look at the positive side of every situation and understand the message that God wants us to receive, to learn how to be good stewards of God’s blessings, to participate in community service, to live simply, to always give thanks in even the smallest things, to tame our tongue and spread goodness instead of gossip…

And in the long run these ‘requirements’ became an integral part of us – over time we aren’t doing it because we are told to do so by the community but because we ourselves hunger for it. Without realizing it, we have imbibed and made these ‘routines’ a part of our daily lives – a part of us.

Now, our day isn’t complete if we were not able to stop for our prayer time – that now our prayers are of a different tone – when before we only pray for ourselves and just ask ask and ask, now we have learned to pray and intercede for others and have learned to give thanks more than we ask.

Now if we feel stressed and worn out – instead of bursting out in anger, we have learned to calm ourselves. If we are going through some problems – we now know to run first to God, ask for his help and ‘lean not on our own understanding’ but ask for Him to reveal his message and help us understand it.

We still are nowhere close to being angels, human as we are we still have lapses and still make errors in judgement – and in times like these we just always have to remind ourselves of our covenant – to never forget that desire that we have in our hearts to be better Christians and be follower of Christ and pray for strength to overcome the challenges and temptations that present themselves in our daily lives.

and for all of this May God Be Praised!!!

Pray and Believe

 

"He offered supplication with loud cries and tears… and he was heard…"  - Hebrews 5:7

 

God hears us wherever we are, He knows what we need long before we ask. It is His will that we pray and He promised to hear our prayers. Big or small, He said it shall be ours.

 

Mark 11:24 says “therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive at and it shall be yours”

 

John 14:13-14 also says “and whatever you ask for in my name, I will do…”

 

What are you praying for? What do you want God to do for you today? Are you asking Him for the impossible?

Don’t be afraid to ask.

 

Reflection: When was the last time God answered your prayers? Do you really believe  that God will answer your prayers?

 

Prayer: Dear Lord, please hear my prayers today. Let me stand on Your promises, Give me faith to believe every word You said and make me ready to receive all that I have prayed for, In Jesus’ name. Amen.

 

When was the last time God answered your prayers? Just yesterday I prayed for enough time to finish all my chores before going to church, and indeed I was able to go home early from work, finish my cooking and cleaning duties at home and was able to catch a cab immediately after I crossed the street to the taxi stand and reached church in time.

 

I was amazed at the simple chain of events that allowed me to fulfill my role as an employee, a sister and a daughter of God yearning to spend time with Him and listen to His words, and for this I am truly grateful

 

I also remembered a letter of petitions that I wrote that sis Sharon brought to Italy when she went for the canonization of Pope John Paul II – all of my prayers were answered.  I was granted the opportunity to travel with friends; my brother and I were able to finance and spend Christmas and New Year in the Philippines; we were provided the funds that we needed to finish the work being done to our house and I was also blessed with the gift of relationship.

 

 

Rightly so, we should never be afraid to ask our Father for it is Him who have put these desires in our heart in the first place – thus He knows even before we ask…

 

Let us pray for God to teach us more how to open our hearts to Him, let the desires He have placed in our hearts grow as he directs us from where we are to where He wants us to be and as such whatever we ask in His name he will give it to us – pray, have faith and believe...  

...May God Be Praised!!!

Thank you and goodbye 2014, Hello and welcome 2015!!!

It's 3 hours and 17 minutes into 2015...

The sky has been lit with magical displays of light; our ears rang with joyous sounds of trumpets and drums; Media noche has been served, shared and enjoyed: the noise has mellowed down except for the occasional blast of a firecracker at a distance somewhere and all is sleeping except for me...

As I give thanks and glory to God for all of 2014 I suddenly remembered the 'love-letter' I wrote to God that was hand carried all the way to Vatican by an SFC sister who will be traveling to Italy for the Canonization of Pope John Paul II.

God has indeed been gracious and has answered not only my own prayer petitions but the fervent prayers of my friends as well. It is such an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness to have been granted our heart's desires that all you could do is silently pray with thanksgiving and yearn to give back all praise and Glory to God thru humble and faithful service.

... so thank you and goodbye 2014, hello and welcome 2015 - may I serve God's purpose every which way... may I seize the chance and use the following 365 days to be a better version of myself in all areas of my life...

... and for the power of faithful prayer May God be Praised!!!