Message received

... this was what was in my mother's facebook account wall update a few days ago... yes my mom has a facebook account - isn't she savvy??!! *captain Jack Sparrow voice here*

... I immediately knew that she had received the letter we wrote for the FamCon activity and waited with bated breath for her to go online and chat...

... when she did, we talked about SFC. We talked how I came to join - how I was reluctant at first but how something just kept me coming to the meetings. We talked about the activities we have had - the conferences, fellowships and outreach programs. We talked about the some of the teachings and how because of SFC and the encouragement of the community, I've started and am trying to regularly go to church, hear mass, read the scriptures (thought there are still times that I find it difficult to understand) and have my own prayer time...

... I told my mom that I still have my shortcomings but I am trying my best to be a better version of myself and I need their support in all of this...

... In not so many words, my mom told me she was proud and happy for me - she told me to continue immersing myself in the community and serving God...

... I am particularly happy that she expressed interest in being part of a similar community and that when time comes she looks forward to doing nothing but serving God - she has been invited to join various groups but she feels she isn't ready...

... a small spark is all that's needed - like how the miniscule mustard seed grows into the biggest tree, I pray that my mother's interest in grows and hopefully in God's perfect time the whole of my family will be part of a Christian community, serve and live Christ-centered lives...

... and for this may God be praised!!!

conversations

A few days after the SFC Family Conference, over dinner my brother and got to talking about our parents, our childhood and how we are now as adults.

He knew I went to an SFC Conference but I haven’t been able to tell him about the details of the conference as I didn’t know how to open the topic up. That night however it was he who initiated the conversation.

Born to middle class working parents who married at a very young age, we grew up living in austerity. With the constant need to prove themselves to their families, my parents choose to work their butts off, live simply and hold on to their pride rather than take handouts if it meant people telling them ‘I told you so’.

With working parents we are left to handle our household as soon as we were old enough to. They gave us chores and limited our play time because they wanted us to learn the value of hard work and responsibility.

They didn’t spoil us with extravagant toys and making our own from scrap materials helped developed our creativity, resourcefulness and frugality.

As we grew older, our parents drilled us with sermons about the importance of studying hard and keeping our grades up.

They were strict about curfews and going out with friends and were especially strict with me. Knowing full well how difficult it is to raise a family, I guess they wanted to protect us from going astray or getting into a relationship before we were ready and made sure we put our studies at the top of our priority.

Like what had been discussed in the conference, we acknowledged that there were several factors that influenced the way our parents raised us.

Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t always obedient children who understood and appreciated what our parents are doing. They are times were voices were raised, tantrums were thrown and doors slammed shut.

We could have easily rebelled and defied their rules but we choose to work past these issues and be someone our parents could be proud of, and as my brother summed it up “we are what we are because of our parents”.

It was one of those few sombre and profound conversations we have and I am thankful I got to slowly introduce and share SFC activities with by brother. It was remarkable how I was able to bounce off and share ideas and thoughts with him in line with the conference details without coming off too preachy or melodramatic.

And for this may God be praised!!!

We are Family

What blessing it is to be invited to join the 2013 CFC-SFC Family Conference!

Usually held every two or three years, we felt blessed that we didn’t have to wait very long to be part of it – even more so when we received the gift of service by preparing the FamCon kits.

We were initially tasked to prepare 100 sets – “easy peasy” we said but when the number of participants rose to 250 we sort of panicked and felt overwhelmed, still we worked on it with fondness and inspiration. We were tired, yes, but in a good way  - even my immediate supervisor commented on how I seemed extra energetic and happy those days we were working on the kits.

We of course got a peek of the talk outline and I remember my household sister telling me in jest to bring not just a hanky but a towel, knowing full well how the topic of Family can pull hard on the heartstrings and how I can be a crybaby at times.

Held as Polaris Academy last August 30, 2013, the Family Conference enabled us to go back to the basics of what family is.

Session One: We are Family

“I won’t be the person I am today without my Family”

I am sure you have heard this phrase countless of times during debut, graduation and other thanks-giving speeches, cliché as it is, it doesn’t make it any less true.

The family is our first most intimate social environment where our characters and identities are initially formed.

Though not always in the strictest sense, whatever we learn from our family – our morals and principles, becomes our core value system that forms our perceptions and becomes the basis of our actions.

Designed and created by God, the bible defines Family as a unit comprising of (a married) man and woman and their children. It is the bedrock of society and as such has the capacity and enormous responsibility of changing the society by being a positive example.

When you think about, as an individual and part of a family, being a role model for the whole of society seems like a daunting task, but to be a catalyst of change we only have to go back to what God’s purpose for the family is: to be the channel by which God passes on His love and other blessings to all of mankind.

Session Two: Starting From Scratch

“Our parents may not be perfect, but they are the most perfect gift God has given us”

As kids, we see our parents as faultless, they are our first role models, our heroes and we expect nothing less than perfect from them. Over time though their own unresolved personal issues resurface, influencing the way they handle the family.

The second session showed us the bigger picture and helped us have an even better grasp of the personal and external factors that can and will affect a marriage.

As sons and daughters it helped us have a better perspective and understanding of the many ‘whys’ of the way our  parents brought us up.

Session Three:  I Belong

“A home... a sense of belonging”

People have the basic need to be part of a group and the family plays the very critical role in fostering a sense of belonging. 

When we were born, it was our family that nurtured and cared for us by providing our basic needs.

As we grew older though, there are times that we feel alienated and neglected because of issues regarding sibling differences, comparison complex and presumed favouritism in the family.

The third session teaches us that thru acceptance and coming to terms with our own faults we can get past our hurts and pains. We can either choose to dwell on the negative and self destruct or work past these issues and be the person God intended us to be.

Session Four: Shattered Dreams

“It is better to give that to receive”

We are all taught the importance of giving, but when we are at the receiving end, greed and selfishness takes over and all we want to do is take, take and take some more without realizing that true happiness comes from the act of giving. 

Session Five: Picking up the Pieces

“Keep calm and let God”

 

We all have, at one point in our lives, felt lost and broken but essentially the choice is within us to either wallow in self-pity and anger or turn things around and be a better person despite it all. 

By recognizing and coming to terms with our own faults and allowing God to take control of our lives, we can begin the process of healing and building our future in accordance to what God has planned for us.

Session Six: Vessel of Hope

“Change must start from within”

Now that we have acknowledged the presence of God in our lives, we can start the process of change in within ourselves thereby creating a ripple effect in our family, the society and the whole of humanity.

Ending the conference was a lively praisefest with choice worship songs that echoed our emotions. The event truly was remarkable with inspiring speakers and sharers; excitement inducing performances and thought provoking activities.

One activity that struck me was the one where we were asked to write a letter to our parents. 

I honestly did not know how to begin writing the letter. I grew up in a family that isn’t really showy and vocal when it comes to emotions, and though we have long since learned to value the importance of expressing affection thru words and actions, there is still that teeny teeny tiny part of me that is reserved – maybe because I don’t want to come off as cheesy or something, I don’t know…

When I think about it, it even seems ironic because I’ve shared more of my deepest thoughts and emotions during Household meetings and other SFC activities when there are some things that I still can’t share with my family – they don’t even know that I am part of the SFC community.

So I started the letter by writing about SFC,  gradually I found myself writing more and more about my feelings, telling my parents how much I love and thank them.

I was apprehensive when they told us that the letter would be mailed – I had the impression we are to keep it and give it at our own time when we feel ready. As days passed however I began to feel excited – more than words, that letter contained what I pray would be the beginning of an even stronger family relationship centred in God.

Family – they have the power to give us immense joy or tormenting pain but at the end of day they still ARE our family… they belong to us and we to them…

… I brought a towel by the way, but lost it so I had to wipe the tears away with my sleeve – thank God for the gift of tears!!!

hearts in prayer

“Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays”

-     Soren Kierkegaard

When we pray for our own personal intentions and request, we unconsciously hope for God to change – change what he has planned for us in our fervent wish to get what we want.

The power of prayer does not lie in us getting what we yearned for, but how it helps us recognize God’s presence in our lives and evokes a change within ourselves.

When we put our hands together and bow our heads we grow in faith as we surrender and lift everything up to God.

When we set aside a specific time for prayer, we learn obedience.

When we ask for forgiveness we learn humility.

When we give thanks, we learn to appreciate and value the blessings bestowed upon us and learn to share them with others.

When we intercede and pray for others we learn selflessness and forgiveness.

When we do not get what we want - we learn acceptance, we learn to trust and believe that God has better plans for us than we have for ourselves.

Prayer is the most intimate part of our relationship with God and it really does result in miracles –  the miracle happens within us as it awakens our soul into yearning to be closer to God.

Covenant Orientation Weekend

Three months after our CLP graduation, I won’t be so bold as to say I’ve become an angel – nope, I haven’t sprouted wings nor grown a halo. I don’t think I’ve changed that much – change after all does not happen overnight and with the narrow path strewn with obstacles that we must (and should) take to follow Christ, everyday is a challenge.

In all honesty, there are times when I feel I have a mild case of schizophrenia (baliw lang daw ang peg!). During Worships, Prayer Assemblies and Household meetings – I listen intently to the teachings, get goosebumps and turn emotional whilst singing and finding a deeper meaning in the lyrics of worship songs and readings, then I go out and try very hard to imbibe, put into heart and practice all that I have taken from these activities but sometimes it’s just so darn hard (because sometimes I just really really want to strangle my boss!) and this is when I find it difficult to weave being an SFC member into the life I knew and had before being part of the community.

Spread over two Fridays with seven talks, the Covenant Orientation came as a culmination of our CLP journey and our induction as full pledged members into the Singles For Christ Community.

The first day of the COW covered 4 topics:

Talk 1: Our Covenant and the Mission and Vision of SFC presented by Bro Roel Baltazar, aims to re-affirm and confirm our commitment of Loving, Honouring and Serving God by way of integrating all that we have learned and experienced during all activities and teachings into our daily lives.

By putting God in the center of our lives and the core of our being, we become living witnesses and proof of the power of his love, words and promises thus enabling us to fulfil the SFC mission of having Every single man and woman all over the world experience Christ.

Talk 2: Strengthening Family Life presented by Tita Ross Ireneo was probably the most sensitive and poignant topic of the COW as it hits home literally and figuratively. The discussion focuses on the basic unit of society – the Family. It reminded us of our parents and siblings and the immense role and responsibility that we have as instruments of their evangelization by being advocates of love, peace, openness and Christian living within the family. 

After the discussion was a mini activity on family dynamics and it was where it got really intense. We were divided into groups and were encouraged to say what was in our hearts to each member of our family as represented by one group member. I for one could not help but be emotional as I pondered in retrospect a heartbreaking incident in my family a few years back that left me with regrets, unspoken words and unanswered questions. 

I don’t really talk and share my feelings about this particular incident – I consider them very private, almost sacred. I dreaded the moment my turn to share would come and yet I could not help but pour my heart out when it did.

Talk 3: Our Christian Culture in SFC by the very lively and animated Sis Cheryl Pederera reminds us of our social responsibilities in an out of the community. By exemplifying the core values of SFC, we become beacons of true Christian living.

Talk 4 by Bro Melvin Lepesigue is about the importance of Prayer, Scripture and Sacraments in our spiritual growth. We were all taught to pray since childhood and though we know the words, we never really fully understood the power of personal prayer times and its significance in building our intimate personal relationship with God.

I shamefully admit in finding it hard to put my heart in a position of prayer when I am in a bad mood and the discussion helped me realize that these ill feelings should not hinder me from prayer but rather push me more into communing with God. 

Reading the scriptures is also one thing I admit to having difficulty getting into. Reading the Bible does not come naturally like, say, reading the Harry Potter book series but by starting with Scripture based daily prayer guides we can slowly build up our understanding and appreciation of the Scriptures.

Closing the first day of course was the anticipated sharing part. I normally try and shrink in my seat to not call attention to myself but I was busy listening to my seatmate’s story which was related to the topic at hand that I forgot to try and be a chameleon. I was caught off guard when Bro Eduard Racoma called me to share. I was hesitant at first because the immediate thing that came to mind was the emotional family dynamic activity. The things that I have shared with my group were very personal - it is not often that I talk about it really and to share it again to a room full of people was daunting. 

I don’t really remember what I said or if I even made sense at all, I just remember feeling relieved as I walked back toward my seat, not because I was done sharing but because deep inside I felt comforted, I felt that somehow I said what I was supposed to say and my message was received by those meant to hear it.

The next weekend’s topics were:

Talk 5: Being Christian in the Workplace by Sis Len Robles which was also a very essential topic. I personally sometimes feel burned out with temper flaring by work related stress and the discussion reminded us that by giving value to our jobs as gifts from God and performing our duties with positivity and a Christian attitude we can and will survive the challenges of our daily grind.  

Talk 6 on Financial Stewardship by Sis Dianne Santiago proved to be an eye opener. I am sure I am not only one who thinks that all the money I’ve earned is mine -mine to spend however and whichever way I please.

“pinaghirapan ko ito” I would argue “so it’s okay to pamper and give myself a treat”. We would even justify keeping a tight fist on our money and defend our selfishness at times by saying we’ve worked very hard for it.

How wrong am I to think that all these are MINE, MINE, MINE! When all these blessings bestowed upon us are not ours to keep but to manage wisely and if possible enrich, so we would be in a better position to give back all the graces and glory to God.

Most of us think that by giving alms we’ve done our part in helping the poor, sometimes we even say “ang laki laki ng katawa, hinde magtrabaho” while begrudgingly fishing out small change from our pockets to give. Talk 7: Loving and Serving the Poor by Tito Eugene reminded us that loving and serving the poor wholeheartedly is an essential part in being Christian and carrying out our mission of Building the Church of the Poor.

After the COW, I still haven’t sprouted wings, I still don’t have a halo but I can say that now I learned more on how to integrate the teachings into my daily life. 

Becoming an SFC member does not mean just wearing the SFC ID, it does not stop when you go out of the SFC Centre, it does not end when you say ‘Amen’ – it is not a fad, it is not a phase, it is THE way of life.

Slowly I’m learning, slowly I’m (I fervently pray) changing for the better, slowly I’m walking the path to being the person God wants me to be and for that may God be praised!!!

No silver platters

In my line of work in the field of banking and customer service, I deal with different types of people everyday.

Clients can be nice and appreciative of the work and efforts I have made in service to them and some can be demanding with the strong opinion that I am just someone hired to do their bidding.

Over the years in this field, my temper and patience in dealing with irate people had waned. I turned from a cheerful and happy employee into someone who works just methodologically and can’t wait to get out of the office at 5 o’clock on the dot.

When I joined SFC, as part of my commitment to be a better person, I tried my best to stretch my patience and control my temper. I constantly remind my self to find joy in the routine of my job, smile and be cheerful despite the nuisances and difficulties I face day in and day out.

Everyday I pray and ask the Lord to give me patience, but it seemed like the harder I pray, the more difficult the customers get making it harder for me to keep my cool, leaving me feeling frustrated and with a heavy heart.

It was during our Prayer Assembly last July 26 that a realization dawned on me. I had been looking at the situation the wrong way - I had this notion that if I asked the Lord for patience he will ‘magically’ make me a patient person, but as our Chapter Head brother Eduardo Racoma said during part of the discussions:

“… if you ask God for patience – he will not give it to you on a silver platter…”

I understood that the Lord is already helping and teaching me patience by challenging me and giving me difficult persons to deal with everyday, I just fail the lesson every time.

I fail because I have been asking the Lord to make it easier for me by eliminating people and situations that will test my tenacity, when I should have been praying for grace and strength to overcome my negative emotions.

I was truly enlightened with that simple phrase and it became sort of my mantra – repeating those precious words in my mind and heart with one deep breath feels like expelling the negativity building within making my heart feel light and cheery again.

How convenient would it be if all that we ask and pray for be given to us on a silver platter? But of course God does not work that way, instead of silver platters he gives us challenges that will test and strengthen our resolve - stepping up to the challenge, learning  and succeeding is the only Christian way to go. Let us be encouraged in knowing and believing that God is with us every step of the way.

Manus Dei

After I wrote about my CLP experience I asked my Household leader the SFC site where I could share the essay in. She informed me about the SFC newsletter Manus Dei and told me to sit tight as she waits to hear word and confirmation from the editor in chief.

It turns out that Manus Dei is in the process of revival after a long hiatus and what I thought was a one time essay sharing became a call to serve as we were invited to become newsletter staffers.

Manus Dei first meeting

I have never been part of any newsletter team before and I certainly am no writer. Writing, though something I really want to improve on, does not come naturally to me, it is something that I really have to work on. 

I don't have a slew of vocabulary up my sleeve. I sometimes get lost in the mumbo-jumbo and rules of prepositions and conjuctions. I tend to write in between sentences and my grammar isn't perfect. There are times that I can breeze thru writing an essay in a jiffy but there are also times that it takes me days, weeks and even months to complete an essay I have started...

So no, I am not really a writer. I am just someone who wants to write because being more of an introvert, I found my voice in writing - it is thru writing that I feel more confident sharing my thoughts and feelings.

deadlines? I need not worry for God will equip me!

Despite my trepidation about having to write within a given deadline, being invited to become a Manus Dei staffer is something I could not say no to. That instance of sudden realization about asking for the gift of knowledge and writing came to mind and I understood that this is  God's way of making both come together.

And for all of this may God be Praised!

unit fellowship

... and the circle of sisterhood grows!!!

 Under the support and leadership of unit head sis Grace our household hosted our first fellowship

meeting at the park! - early birds eager for the fun and laughter to begin with games aimed to get to know more about each other

we share not only a hearty dinner but more of ourselves as well and as a thank you for their support and participation we gifted our sisters with bible verse bookmarks

for a dear unit head - bible verses and a personalized letter of thanks!

bonds of sisterhood

While growing up with my two brothers was fun, sometimes a girls just needs a sister to confide in, talk to and share girly things with.

Now with my SFC community not only do I have friends, I have sisters.

... sisters in who are the source of encouragement when it seems that my conviction and confidence wavers.

... sisters who are there to guide and give me advice when I am lost in the chaos of life.

... sisters who are genuinely concerned about me and my family.

... sisters who are my angels here on earth; who wholeheartedly prays with me and for me.

I now have sisters - sisters in Christ who will help me draw closer to God and build my fate while having fun in the process!

 and for all of this may God be praised!

My CLP Journey - answering God's call

... the idea of writing an essay about my CLP journey was formed during Talk 9 and I have put of writing it until we were again invited to share our experiences thru various CFC-SFC multimedia sites during one prayer assembly.  Walking home after the PA - I prayed for God to touch my heart and empower my mind as I try to translate the experience and feelings into words in writing and this is what I wrote:

I am not really a very religious person. I believe in God, I pray, I go to church, but I am not really the type who would join a Christian community.

Unlike most of the participants, I did not go looking for the Singles for Christ community, if anything I try to run and wiggle my way out of any invitations to join. As a person who is sort of an introvert, I am not really comfortable being with a large group of people, I get easily embarrassed and am scared of looking silly that the thought of joining a community wherein you are expected to ‘share’ your innermost thoughts and feelings; sing, dance and raise your hands in wild abandon in praise and worship kind of scares me, so the thought of joining SFC (or any ‘touchy feely, raise your hand enthusiastic’ organizations for that matter) was the farthest thing on my mind, but six months ago I got an invitation I could not say no to.

During my intimate celebratory birthday dinner with two friends, our conversation drifted off to SFC activities that one friend was busy with. The SFC Christian Life Program has started and as one friend talked about it, the other cajoled her into inviting me – I gave him the most powerful ‘death stare’ I could muster and tried sending him a mental message telling him to drop the subject, it was all I could do short of kicking him in the shins under the table just to shut him up. I felt ‘cornered’ like a deer in headlights that to appease my friends I just gave a non-committal  ‘I will try’ to which my friend took positively, promising to pick me up at 8 AM the following Friday. 

When we got to the place where the CLP talks were held, I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t believe how many people were there! There was even a registration table where I was told to sign up, was given a pen and notepad. It would be very difficult for me to slip out unnoticed I thought. I felt shy and self-conscious that I choose an inconspicuous seat in the corner wishing I was Pascal – you know? Rapunzel’s pet chameleon, so I could blend in the wall and be invisible. I also hoped that there would be no ‘sharing and raise your hand exercises’. There was of course and I felt a deep sense of anxiety not unlike the way I felt back in grade school where my teacher randomly choose pupils to recite the multiplication table (which I did not memorize) in front of the whole class.

The topic that day was ‘Who is Jesus Christ’. I expected to be bored but I was not. Listening to the speaker talk about Jesus Christ was like getting to see and reconnect with your childhood friend again after years had passed. Times may have changed, I may have changed but the bond still remains and there is something comfortable about it, thus when we were asked if we were coming back for the next meetings – although I wasn’t bold enough to proclaim it, in my heart I heard myself saying ‘yes’ and so I did.

I admit – during the first couple of Fridays, getting up early on my only day off from work was a struggle but I gradually began looking forward to learning new songs and listening to engaging speakers. Coming out of the CLP meetings you feel light with happiness that is carried on for days not unlike the way I feel at times coming home after a night of dining and movies with friends – I laugh and smile in the moment but when I get home I feel sad and empty.

During the course of the CLP, these feelings of emptiness and sadness were addressed in a subtle yet powerful way. First was thru the song Life to the Full which we first heard during talk 9 and second thru the verse of Isaiah 66:13 which I received on a slip of paper for a personal reflection part during our first morning worship. I had never experienced anything quite like it before. It was like God was directly speaking to me and giving me the assurance I was looking for that I could not help but feel very emotional.

Being in the CLP, I was not only reassured but empowered as well. For our Dedication day presentation, my part required me to dance and act all ‘girly and sassy’ which I really am not. All throughout my school life I shied away from anything that would put me under the spotlight – me? Dance? Act? Oh no no no no!! I am happy and comfortable working on props in the background, but it was an invitation I just could not say no to.

During practice I really had difficulty portraying the role I’m given. I woke up on D-day with huge butterflies in my stomach, wanting to puke and poop at the same time. I fervently asked to be empowered and waited with heart pounding as group representatives were asked to draw lots to determine who will be the first to present, as divine intervention would have it, we are to perform first and by God’s grace and empowerment perform we did.

 

Before joining SFC, I am also one of those people who wonder why people raise their hands in prayer, I don’t really get it and there are times too that I scoff at those people thinking maybe they are just over acting. It was only during the 12 Annual SFC National Conference that I understood why.

During the praise fest I was so moved and consumed by the songs that I was singing at the top of my lungs and actually felt the veins on my neck pop out, it was the first time in the course of my SFC CLP journey that I raised my hands in praise not just because everybody was doing it but because it felt right and natural.

The songs of worship resonated with my whole being. It was like every particle of my body wanted to proclaim ‘here I am Lord! guide me through my transformation into someone worthy of you’  it was the moment that I understood and really connected the action with the feeling. There was even a part during break that I was singing along the band and I raised both my hands in the air all shyness forgotten.

Lifting up my hands in praise was me answering God’s call with open arms, accepting his invitation, reaching out to him, asking him to touch my heart and soul and becoming a witness of and for other people of God’s greatness. To say that it was a touching and amazing experience would be an understatement.

 

As what I have shared during the last CLP meeting (yes brothers and sisters! I stood up in front and shared!!) “this is not the end but just the beginning… I am excited and I look forward to growing with and in the Singles For Christ community into someone who is pleasing in the eyes of God…”

I am still very much a work in progress but I know that with the help of my SFC family and the Grace of God – impossible is nothing.

For all of this may God be Praised!!!