Friday, December 30, 2016

the art of small steps

... as 2016 draws to a close, we anticipate with joyful hope the coming year and with this may we learn to appreciate life even more... this little known prayer by Antoine de Saint-Exupery was written in one of the roughest periods of his life, and as we welcome 2017 may it remind us of the most valuable things in life...



"Lord, I'm not praying for miracles and visions, I am only asking for strength for my days. Teach me the art of small steps...

Make me clever and resourceful, so that I can find important discoveries and experiences among the diversity of days...

Help me use my time better. Present me with the sense to be able to judge whether something is important or not...

I pray for the power of discipline and moderation, not only to run throughout my life, but also to live my days reasonably, and observe unexpected pleasures and heights...

Save me from the naive belief that everything in life has to go smoothly. Give me the sober recognition that difficulties, failures, fiascos, and setbacks are given to us by life itself to make us grow and mature...

Send me the right person at the right moment who will have enough courage and love to utter the truth!

I know that many problems solve themselves, so please teach me patience...

You know how much we need friendships. Make me worthy of this nicest, hardest, riskiest and most fragile gift of life.

Give me enough imagination to be able to share with someone a little bit of warmth, in the right place, at the right time, with words or with silence.

Spare me the fear of missing out on life...

Do not give me the things I desire, but the things I need...

Teach me the art of small steps!



***Brightsideme.com

Friday, September 23, 2016

mission in me

I yearned to go on mission, yes, but had apprehensions in joining any African teams for although I knew I could rough it (hey I am not as fragile as I look!), Africa seemed too far off the beaten track that I began to doubt if I can handle it.
But God's way and timing to fulfill my desire to go on mission has come and I am grateful for He orchestrated everything and had everything fall into place.
When I told my parents I am going to Rwanda as part of the SFC Mission Exchange team, my mom was hesitant, the place was unfamiliar to her and she was scared for our safety. It was an expected reaction, what was surprising was my dad's affirmative reply thus I could not help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for his yes meant not only am I going to Africa but it also meant he was opening his heart to the SFC community as well and it gave me comfort in knowing that my family understood my call to serve albeit not being members of the community themselves (yet).
Excitement kicked in as wanderlust and the promise of adventure beckoned. Upon attending the MEX training however the excitement turned to anxiety as I was assigned to give Christian Life Program, Evangelization Training and Covenant Orientation talks not to mention spearheading ice breaker activities. Standing in front of large crowd was never my strong suit and the mental picture of myself standing in front grasping for words gave me the nerves.
I re-read my SFC teaching journals and reflected upon what each topic meant to me, praying for God to give me the wisdom, knowledge and courage to be His mouthpiece. With that thought in me the days of the week seemed to pass by quickly and before I knew it I was flying out to Rwanda.
Upon arrival, we were welcomed by the warm hugs and smiles of team Rwanda’s head - Sister Lala Valencia and Uncle James Ssemwangu and the short drive from the hotel to our accommodation was all it took to impress upon us the beauty of this hilly, green and cool city.

It was down to our mission in the following days as we were sent to support and empower the SFC core leaders and members in Rwanda, organize the CLP and build the relationship between CFC-SFC and the parish.
Mornings were faithfully spent attending the holy mass and though it was conducted in the native language of Kinyarwanda it was nonetheless awe-inspiring. The graceful movement of the parishioners as they sang in worship with their eyes closed call to mind the emotional rush we feel during praise fests and it was yet another loving reminder to praise not just with our voices but with our whole being – mind, body and soul.
Another noteworthy local practice was the blessing of the Eucharist. I had my eyes closed in prayer and opened them when I heard lively drum beatings and clapping in time to see the priest raise the host. It struck me that indeed it was a moment of celebration for we are blessed to be able to receive the sacrament of the Eucharist.
After daily masses, we handed out CLP flyers. I don’t usually go out of my way to talk to people other than those within my tour group when I travel – unless maybe to ask for information but having the heart of an emboldened missionary gave me the daring I needed to go up to people, chat with them and invite them to the CLP. The few minutes we spent handing out flyers gave us the chance us to immerse ourselves in and get to know the community.

Another golden opportunity that we would have missed had we just kept to ourselves was meeting Sister Antoinette.  A simple conversation at a local bakery had us following her down a tree-lined street to the peaceful St. Bernardine Convent and on to the University Teaching Hospital of Kigaly where she helped us meet with the concerned persons who would allow us to  schedule a visit to the pediatric patients and organize a simple program for the kids. Truly God orchestrates everything and we should never hesitate to respond to His promptings and allow Him to use us as an instrument to answer someone else’s prayer.
Visiting the children was such a humbling experience. I could never forget how one mother lifted her hands in praises to God for the few pieces of sweets that I handed to her.  It occurred to me that more than the chocolates it was Love that they have received and Hope for brighter days to come.  Indeed blessings from heaven come in many forms and not one is too small to appreciate and give thanks for. We bid the kids good-bye but not after a short prayer and numerous Hi-5’s.

Feeling childlike gave us the high-spirited enthusiasm we needed for our CLP team empowerment where we got to know more about our Rwandan brothers and sisters thru a series of games. After the fun filled event, we had a moment of quiet and reflection as we had our HouseHold meeting. The activity allowed us to see their carefree side and gave us the opportunity to share with each other our own personal faith journeys.
The day of the CLP was a frenzy of activity. I had previously been part of CLP service team but it was quite a different experience serving during mission – we truly had to be ‘mission-ready’. There were no committees responsible for a specific task but the whole team in itself was the all-in-one committee and everybody had to be quick to act and on the move – supporting each and everyone in everyway to ensure that whatever glitches that occured can be immediately resolved without disrupting the talks and distracting the participants.
When my turn to give the CLP talk 6 came I felt a wave of nervousness wash over me. I remember silently saying “this is it Lord… help me send your message … wag po sna ako pumiyok at sna marinig nila ako…”   My hands were sweaty and my knees felt weak but I gradually felt the nervousness ebb away and was heartened by the attentiveness of the participants  - they even laughed at the little joke I said!  Thank You Lord!
By God’s grace the Christian Life Program was victorious. We were physically exhausted but our spirits were joyful.
The warm smiles and enthusiasm of our brothers and sisters in Kigaly despite some of the hurdles they have to bear just to come to the venue, reminded us of how lucky we are to have our SFC Family whereas in some parts of the world people hunger to hear more of God’s word and be a part of a community that can foster their spiritual growth.
Looking back I thought I’d go on mission to offer my ‘services’, thinking I had a lot to give (my time, effort…) when in fact it is me who would benefit more by way of new experiences,  challenges, realizations and friendships… Murakoze Kigaly!


For all of this May God be Praised!

Friday, May 20, 2016

a lesson in Obedience

… a couple of Friday's ago, despite a sense of shyness, I stood in front of Christian Life Program participants and shared my understanding and experiences about what it means to be a Christian…

About a month ago I received a call from Abu Dhabi Chapter A1 team heads inviting me to be the speaker for CLP Talk 3. 

I was reluctant…

I normally shy away from chances like these since speaking in front of a crowd was never really my strong suit. I was laughing but felt panicky as they told me how they had discerned and chose me initially but changed their minds knowing the introvert me might say "no".  They had scratched my name on the list before submitting it to the elders, only to find my name back on it when it was approved and given back to them.

“it is really for you” they said… “let me pray for it” I replied thus, overwhelmed with nerves, I was not able to sleep soundly that night. 

I jokingly prayed “Lord, antagal pa kinakabahan nman ako agad, kaya ko ba to?

I got my answer early morning the next day. This was what I read in my daily bible reflection guide: 


I realized that my nervousness was because I was worried that I won't be a engaging speaker and bore the listeners. I was worried that I won't be an eloquent speaker - unable to discuss articulately the topic at hand and that the participants won't learn anything from me.

I was relying on my own capabilities instead of trusting in His guidance and promise of “arming His soldiers for battle” which led me to pray for wisdom and courage to be His mouthpiece. It had given me the calmness that eluded me the night before but I still wasn’t able to give a positive response to the CLP team heads.

The Lord knew that there was a minute sense of hesitation hanging about in my heart and gave me another assuring wink of confidence during our household meeting that night when a sister uttered the very words “what it means to be a Christian” during our reflection sharing of the day’s gospel about the solemnity of the Annunciation and Mother Mary’s obedience to God’s will. 

It made me smile at God’s amazing ways of encouraging us and I went home that night eager to relay my definite “YES!” 

Over the weeks and days that followed, I had quite a few eureka moments of understanding as I read the outline; reviewed my notes from previous CLP’s and reflected on the topic at hand. I knew it was God’s outpouring of grace and wisdom. 

As I stood in front that Friday, I felt jittery and my voice cracked as I spoke but my heart although pounding with nerves was full of Joy and Gratitude at the opportunity to be God’s instrument in sharing His messages and bring people closer to Him.

For all of this May God be Praised!!! 

Thursday, April 7, 2016

coming back to Him

Last weekend, troubled by a slight blunder I made at work, I was not able to sleep peacefully. 

With the fragile work environment we have, there is little to no room for error so I dreaded going to my boss and telling him about it. I practiced how I was going to approach him and explain my oversight – I thought about it so much that I literally began dreaming about it at night.

I prayed for the Lord to help me face the fear that was weighing my heart down…  I prayed for my boss to have an understanding and forgiving heart… I prayed for us to easily us find a corrective solution and I prayed for the resolve to own up to my mistake instead of leaving it unnoticed. 

The next working day, my hand felt cold and sweaty as I waited for the perfect timing to tell my boss and my heart pounded when I finally did… but praise God for he was calm as I explained and said we are going to check and correct the mistake.

I felt light after our dialogue – not only has the burden of fear and guilt truly been lifted from my heart but I made me further my resolution to be more cautious and attentive at work…

… it also made me ponder on our reluctance to go to confession… 

I was scared to go and ‘confess’ my mistake because I have a 50:50 chance of being reprimanded, judged or worse punished by my boss but with God we are 100% sure that he will not judge us, reprimand us or punish us if we come to Him with a contrite heart and the sincere resolve to change our ways and repent. 

And unlike human capacity whereas three strikes gets you surely chastised, our God is a God of infinite chances and no matter how many times we falter, He will lovingly envelop us in a warm hug of forgiveness if we come to Him with a penitent heart.

Indeed how much lighter would our hearts be if we be freed from the chains of our sins, guilt and shame.

For all the times You have forgiven us and welcomed us back into Your arms may You be Praised forever my God!




Wednesday, March 16, 2016

in their eyes


"if we could see ourselves the way other people see us, we would realize how truly wonderful we are"

Thank You and Praise God for hearts that sees the good in everything and everyone!!!

...continue to work in me, with me and thru me Dear Father that I may radiate Your greatness to the people around me...





For all of this May God be Praised!!!

Friday, February 26, 2016

nice kitty

I earned the moniker ‘tiger’ in office because I can really be ‘masungit’ when the mental and physical stress and pressure of work gets to me… some times I just sit pokerfaced and mechanically do my job…

Today a client (who turns out to be a CFC elder handling YFC), upon finding out that I am in the Singles for Christ community confessed to previously wanting to invite me to join SFC but held back because I always seemed aloof.  Today he told me that he sees a positive change in me – it was the best compliment ever!


With the grace of God may I continue changing for the better!


Sunday, January 3, 2016

out of the shadows

When we were children, the world was our oyster.

We were invincible; we were carefree; we had the ability and freedom to do anything, go anywhere and be who we want to be but as we grew older the world’s complexities started to bear down on us and cast us in our own shadow of self-doubt, anxieties; insecurities and feeling of unworthiness.

But the love and light of God for us shines ever so brightly and moves to penetrate even the darkest crevices of our soul with His very personal and individualized blessings of strength, guidance, loving-kindnesses, and support manifested in everyday events and every people we meet.



May we always allow God’s love to shine within and through us and bask in its warmth and glory like the rays of the sun bursting out from dark clouds.


For all of this May God be Praised.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

twenty sixteen

... during an intimate dinner with my HouseHold sisters, we had a sharing of what 2015 was for us. I shared that it was a year of bountiful blessings in terms of service, finances and family time and though I have had my heart broken - 2015 truly was a great year.

... the Lord made His presence known in the period when I felt sad, lonely and have doubted my self worth - He lifted my spirits up thru service and the love of family and friends and I could not have been more thankful... indeed, despite succumbing to the roaller coaster of emotions and turmoil inside me,
He hugged me ever so tightly and held me ever so dearly that slowly I felt the peace in my heart again...


... as we usher in the new year I give my thanks to You Lord for the year that was. I thank You for the bountiful blessings, the spirit purifying challenges and character strengthening circumstances. May we look back at 2015 not with regrets of what was but with fond memories - taking with us the lessons that we have learned, the self discoveries we have made and with faithful hope look forward to 2016 for what will be... 

... we humbly ask for Your loving hand to guide our path to the fulfillment of our dreams...

... keep us, our families and friends safe and healthy. we humbly ask for Your continued providence as we pray for You to open our hearts to your calling to be someone else's answered prayer...

... enkindle our hearts to be closer to You and look upon You not only in times of distress but for all times..

... all praises and glory to You Oh Lord as we say goodbye to 2015 and look forward to 2016!