… a couple of Friday's ago, despite a sense of shyness, I stood in front of Christian Life Program participants and shared my understanding and experiences about what it means to be a Christian…
About a month ago I received a call from Abu Dhabi Chapter A1 team heads inviting me to be the speaker for CLP Talk 3.
I was reluctant…
I normally shy away from chances like these since speaking in front of a crowd was never really my strong suit. I was laughing but felt panicky as they told me how they had discerned and chose me initially but changed their minds knowing the introvert me might say "no". They had scratched my name on the list before submitting it to the elders, only to find my name back on it when it was approved and given back to them.
“it is really for you” they said… “let me pray for it” I replied thus, overwhelmed with nerves, I was not able to sleep soundly that night.
I jokingly prayed “Lord, antagal pa kinakabahan nman ako agad, kaya ko ba to?
I got my answer early morning the next day. This was what I read in my daily bible reflection guide:
I realized that my nervousness was because I was worried that I won't be a engaging speaker and bore the listeners. I was worried that I won't be an eloquent speaker - unable to discuss articulately the topic at hand and that the participants won't learn anything from me.
I was relying on my own capabilities instead of trusting in His guidance and promise of “arming His soldiers for battle” which led me to pray for wisdom and courage to be His mouthpiece. It had given me the calmness that eluded me the night before but I still wasn’t able to give a positive response to the CLP team heads.
The Lord knew that there was a minute sense of hesitation hanging about in my heart and gave me another assuring wink of confidence during our household meeting that night when a sister uttered the very words “what it means to be a Christian” during our reflection sharing of the day’s gospel about the solemnity of the Annunciation and Mother Mary’s obedience to God’s will.
It made me smile at God’s amazing ways of encouraging us and I went home that night eager to relay my definite “YES!”
Over the weeks and days that followed, I had quite a few eureka moments of understanding as I read the outline; reviewed my notes from previous CLP’s and reflected on the topic at hand. I knew it was God’s outpouring of grace and wisdom.
As I stood in front that Friday, I felt jittery and my voice cracked as I spoke but my heart although pounding with nerves was full of Joy and Gratitude at the opportunity to be God’s instrument in sharing His messages and bring people closer to Him.
For all of this May God be Praised!!!
