Leader

lead.er    noun     \ˈlē-dər\

 

Merriam webster dictionary defines leader as one who has a commanding authority or influence.

 

I myself see a leader as a person with a strong personality; one who is confident; one who has the courage and tenacity to take on responsibility and not succumb to pressure when the going gets tough.

 

I don't think I am any of these. I am quite a shy and passive person. I'd rather be a follower than a leader.

 

That is why I could not believe it when I was tapped to be one of the Discussion Group Leaders for our SFC Chapter's Christian Life Program.

 

When confirmation of the upcoming CLP was announced, there were a lot of teasings within our group and my mind was like "me??? nuh-uh!!!"

 

When we had a CLP training program, I took part in the workshop where we had a mock 'group discussion'.  Participating in these kind of activities was never my strong suit and being put in a so called spotlight was nerve wracking to say the least. Acting as DGL with members who were extremely enthusiastic, emotional or non responsive was very daunting indeed- half the time I just felt myself smiling stupidly. There were moments when I felt lost and don't know who to pay attention to, say or do. I was quite relieved when it was over but the feeling of nervousness (I had the chills!) with heart pounding like I had just run a marathon lingered.

 

Still the possibility of that maybe did not sink in. I went about my ignorant bliss.

 

The night before we are to have the first talk of the CLP, I went about my usual thursday night routine and went to sleep after watching an episode or two of my current favorite series. Imagine my shock when I woke up at about 3 am - checked my facebook account (in all fairness it was because my mom sends messages early in the morning Phil time) and found out we were tapped to be DGL's - I felt like (sorry for the language teehee!) pooping and puking all at the same time... I wasn't able to sleep properly after that...

 

The next day, I tried to keep my mind off the task set before us by trying to assist the registration team and then acted as usherette. When I was told to join the participants and listen to the talk proper - I was again taken over by nerves, listening to the talk gave me respite from that but when the speaker concluded the talk - the nerves came crashing like a 10-storey tidal wave swallowing me whole...

 

We were then each called and introductions were made, I thank all my fellow service team members who cheered me as I walked to the front giving me the much much needed confidence boost.

 

I did not quite know what to do as we tried to find a place and huddled. It was a big relief that my Household leader sat with us and helped and guided me direct the flow of the discussion. The first few minutes were quite awkward with brief moments of silence as I gathered my thoughts and tried to remember the pointers in our CLP workshop. As the discussion progressed, so was the feeling of comfortability and the feeling of camaraderie.

 

As a person who does not easily get comfortable with new acquiantances, it was an amazing feeling of blessedness that I am able to feel comfortable with the group.

 

As I went home and pondered on the events of the day, I realized the I may have the 'tag' Discussion Group Leader, but I am not there to command and give orders - I am to learn from them; take inspiration from them; be a true sister to them...

... I am there to take the journey WITH them...

... may we all together grow more in faith as we journey beyond for the Lord...

... and for all of this May God Be Praised...

Christian Life Program Training

With just a week away from the CLP orientation, we are called to attend a CLP training to give us more pointers to facilitate and effectively carry out our responsibilities as members of the service teams.

 

It seems just like yesterday that we were welcomed into the SFC family and now just after a little over a year we are called to be part of the service team to welcome and usher in new participants into the family.

 

 

 

Part of the training was a workshop was a mock group discussion where each of us acted as member and Discussion Group Leaders.

 

Participating in these kind of activities was never my strong suit and being put in a so called spotlight was nerve wracking to say the least. Acting as DGL with members who were extremely enthusiastic, emotional or non responsive was very daunting indeed.  There were moments when I felt lost and don't know who to pay attention to, say or do. I was quite relieved when it was over but the feeling of nervousness (I had the chills!) with heart pounding like I had just run a marathon lingered.

 

Conducting a Christian Life program is indeed a battle and with this training we are claiming victory for the Lord!

 

... and for all of this May God Be Praised!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Back to Basic

Preparations are underway as our Singles For Christ Chapter's Christian Life Program is at the helm, and what better way of doing so than going back to the basic principles of the SFC culture, our covenant and our identity.

 

 

 

 

SFC VISION:
Every single man and woman all over the world experiencing Christ.

SFC EXPANDED VISION:

Singles for Christ is the next generation of Couples for Christ, empowered by the Holy Spirit to journey and witness with single men and women in their discovery and pursuit of vocations and the fullness of the mission towards building a Christ-centered society.

SFC MISSION:

Building the Church of the Home. Building the Church of the Poor.

 

 

 

 



 

growing in love with someone

... when I was young - well much younger than I am today haha! I used to daydream about that serendipitous moment straight out of romance novel where the world would come to a halt, fireworks would happen, sparks would fly, a guy would look at me with a sparkle in his eye and... we would 'fall in love'...

 

... well I don't want to fall in love anymore - I want to 'grow in love'...

 

 

It seems like many of us are seeking to “fall in love.” That is, we are waiting for that perfect man or woman that God has planned for us in life. Symptoms of “falling in love” include the following: hopelessly believing in “love at first sight”; hoping for an unrealistic set of expectations of an ideal man/woman; seeking to be swept off our feet; waiting for the affection to be reciprocated. All these examples have one thing in common: passive way of seeking love, or looking to fall in love with someone.

 One problem with this approach is that this method relies too much on our emotions and senses. To be fair, these aren’t necessarily terrible things to look for in a relationship. As I have said in the previous post, emotional & physical attractions are necessary components of full human love. Yet, these alone do not get you very far. Love based on emotional and physical attractions are superficial at best. Hence, it needs something else for transformation towards its higher form, more perfect form of love: virtues.

 Virtues can be best described as our habitual action towards perfection (ST I-II, 55, i). By definition, virtues require a degree of activeness from ourselves, and the potential significant other. Thus, “falling in love” becomes “growing in love” (will revisit this point later in the post).
One wise friend argued, “more than anything in the world, look for a virtuous man/woman.” In other words, virtues should be the most important attributes to look for in our potential significant others. Our Catholic faith has a handy list of virtues but are not only limited to: faith, hope, charity, temperance, justice, fortitude, & prudence. In other words, look for a man/woman with faith, hope and charity (quite obvious)! Look for a man/woman with self-discipline (temperance) or courage. Look for a man/woman that is just, and wise (prudent) in his/her speech and actions.
Additionally, Saint Paul also recommends: look for a man/woman that is patient and kind; someone that is not jealous, boastful, arrogant nor rude; A man or woman who does not insist in his/her own way; Someone who strives for righteousness before God and others (1 Cor. 13:4-6).
But why virtues above other qualities like looks, romance, butterflies in the stomach, knot in the stomach?

• Beauty (physical looks) passes away with time. Romance cools off. Wealth is an uncertainty. Talents/gifts can be taken away (eg. accident).

• However, virtuous man/woman hold on to their virtues and wear them like their armour. Someone with faith, hope, and charity bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things (1 Cor. 13:7). Patience, kindness, justice, self-discipline do not easily leave a person.

 Unfortunately, our society has wired our brains to hold physical beauty above the things that actually matter. A man with beachbody, luxury car, and watch collection is far more desirable despite infidelity or dishonesty issues. A female with hour-glass figure, cute smile and high social life is preferred even though there is a lack of self-respect or unresolved baggages. I admit, these are some poignant exaggerations, but there are some truths to how we look at person of opposite gender.
Consequently, being attracted to a virtuous person proves to be a far more challenging task. It takes a tremendous effort to look past all these superficial ideals, and look for the person’s character; inner beauty; virtues.

 

It takes an act of will to move ourselves towards someone’s inner life, then learn to appreciate, value and love his/her character above anything else. Through this process, we learn to grow in love with someone.

 Most importantly, this process does not have us wait around forever to find that “perfect someone” that has been prepared for us. Don’t misunderstand me, God does have that special someone that He has prepared for us. But His perfect plan does not entail in us waiting for our emotions and senses to lead to that special someone. Instead, His perfect plan requires us to perfect the way we love through an active process. The first step is to change the ideals that we are seeking in opposite gender.

 My wise friend also pointed out, “there are so many virtuous men and women in our community (of CFC). There should be no reasons to hinder someone from having meaningful and fruitful relationships.” Of course, he does not mean that every one of us should go out the next day and ask someone out. NO, please don’t do that haha! His point is that there are so many people whose beauty go unnoticed because of our society’s twisted values of perfect men and women. In other words, we only need to open the eyes of our hearts to see how blessed we are; how beautiful we are.
So ladies and gentlemen, do not fall in love. Instead, seek to grow in love!

“O Master grant that I may never seek to be loved, as to love.” – Author Unknown

act of faith

We all know Jim Carrey as the funny man in movies, while I don't particulary like his brand of humor (think Cable Guy) I was blown away by the commencement exercise speech he had given at Maharishi University.

 

He have given such thought provoking statements in that twenty six second speech one of which is this:

 

"LET THE UNIVERSE KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WORK TOWARDS IT WHILE LETTING GO OF HOW IT WILL COME TO PASS - you job is not to figure out how it will happen for you, but to open the door in your head and when it does open in real life JUST WALK THROUGH IT!"

 

... we all like to control our lives yes, and I guess there is nothing wrong with that - I guess things go downhill when we OBSSESSIVELY TRY TO TAKE CONTROL over the circumstances that we THINK will give us what you want... we manipulate things to go our own way... we latch on tight on the things that we should probably let go off... we worry and over analyze things that we forget to live and we lose sight of what was important in the first place...

 

...I guess I am just ranting here... I don't even know if I make any sense...this just might be the effect of having too much time on my hands coupled with a sugar rush from having cake for lunch... but yes I agree with Jim...

 

... yes  we should "LET THE UNIVERSE KNOW WHAT WE WANT AND WORK TOWARDS IT WHILE LETTING GO OF HOW IT WILL COME TO PASS" because doing so is an ACT OF FAITH...

 

 

A brand new day - trust and build a team

... despite coming home late from our thanksgiving and fellowship night, we all eagerly woke up the next day for our team building and morning worship...

... there is truly something so peaceful and solemn about early morning worship and to be in a place of greenery, fresh air and blue skies above together with my brothers and sisters in Christ makes praying all the more powerful and heartfelt...

 

... kick starting with a short zumba routine to wake up whatever sleepy particle in our body left, we let the glorious sun shine upon us as we sang in worship led by bro. Eduard Racoma, followed by a very personal activity of re-evaluating ourselves. On a piece of paper we are to write the changes that we have adapted into our lives a year into the SFC community after which some of our brothers and sisters intimately shared what the past year had been for them. It was truly an affirmation of the huge change the hand of God had made in our lives...

 

 

 

... all these simple activities indeed rejuvenated our bodies, mind and soul, thus we are ready to tackle the more physical activities for our team building games!

 

 

... probably the most poignant of these games was the trust fall - it was my first time to do so and the experience was truly liberating and uplifting - to know that there are people whom you can trust to catch you when you fall was very comforting and reassuring...

 

 

... and for all of these May God Be Praised!!!

 

 

 

in the pursuit of happiness

God's message for me today:

"Happiness can indeed be very difficult to find, we just have to do our best and find it within ourselves... If you choose to wear a frown not only do you deprive youself of a joyous feeling, you deprive others ...of happiness as well... Be thankfull - do not wait until its too late to learn to appreciate and value all that you have been given, and most of all pray, just like exercise strengthens the body - prayer strengthens the soul...."