getting there

... I have imagined this conversation a thousand times that it is old news and yet every time I do, fresh tears still come streaming...

... I have a lot of questions and as I imagine you answer each one of them, the conversation takes unexpected turns, road blocks and eventually dead ends... 

... yes I have a lot of questions - I tried to find the answers by revering the past - racking my brains for subtle signs in your actions and words - over analyzing the littlest detail and obsessing over everything as I tried to give my self the closure that I think I needed...

... but then I realized I didn't need answers to my questions - having the answers won't give me closure for closure comes from acceptance and acceptance will have to come from within...

... I have accepted the fact that you have moved on away from me but it does not mean it has stopped hurting because the thing about getting your heart broken is that it's too damn hard to pick up the pieces and put them back together...

...there are times when I thought I have succeeded in putting my heart back together but I guess I did it hastily that everything fell apart again with the slightest reminder of what used to be...

... there are times that I felt at peace - slowly putting back the pieces of my heart then a memory of you would squeeze itself out and dance around my thoughts that I'd stop and abandon the process...

... you have moved on - I honestly gave myself a good crying the day I learned that fact... I allowed my mind to wander dangerous terrains - calculating your every action and again asking why? when? how? who?... when I had felt spent crying, I stopped and prayed...

I prayed to for courage to look not at what was but ahead on what will be... I prayed for strength not to look at you for answers nor at her for the qualities that I seemed to lack... I prayed for guidance to keep my focus on the Lord and find myself in Him... 

I am not angry at you - I pray for the best for you in terms of your family, career, service and personal relationship...

... you will always be my friend - I may feel shy and awkward to come up to you and say "hi!" but always know that I always wish you well...

I will always look back at our time together as a beautiful learning experience and I thank God for giving the gift of you - I am sorry for my shortcomings but please know that I loved you the best way I can by the best ways I know how...I pray for God's continuing guidance over you as He moulds you to be the person He ought you to be...

For all of this May God be Praised...

open your heart

came across this article on love...

There is no safe investment.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one…Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness…The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

Yes, love is painful. But as C. S. Lewis suggests, we can respond to any relationship with either a closed, hellish heart, or an open, heavenly heart. If you keep your heart open, that same pain can become a purifying pain, a strengthening pain.

If we choose forgiveness over bitterness, that pain can heal instead of hurt. Instead of a pain that divides, it can be a pain that binds. Instead of a pain that breaks us down, it can be a pain that builds us up.

Fear, hatred and selfishness? Those are easy. But, Hell is easy. Faith, love, and selflessness? Those are hard. But, Heaven is hard — and rewarding.

without words

Have you ever experienced a time when you wanted to say something but could not find the words? have you ever felt that sometimes your heart just does not seem to connect to that part of your brain responsible for processing your thoughts and feelings into words thus you are unable to express yourself no matter how hard you try?

It is when we feel intense emotions - when we are taken by surprise; when we are nervous; hurt or weighed down by our own anxieties, worries and fears that the mind just cannot seem to grasp the gravity and plethora of emotions we are in that our lips are silenced.

Incidents like this are not limited to conventional social situations but can occur during our personal prayer times as well.  We pause and say our prayers but they somehow feel uninspired and routinary.

Quite ironic isn’t it? Just when we desperately need to commune with God are we unable to reach out to Him. We falter with hearts feeling disconnected with what we are saying that our personal prayers seem like empty words as we struggle to tell God how we feel.

We often think of prayer as a verbal conversation with God but it does not have to be.  Without words we can commune with God by listening to worship songs and just getting lost in the music and lyrics; by offering our daily tasks for His glory; by reading inspirational books and the scripture…

… by simply spending sometime alone, finding beauty in our surroundings and focusing only on Him – by using all our other senses to connect with Him because drawing close to God means reveling in His presence, feeling comforted by His warm embrace and finding peace in silence.

When we stumble with the words of our prayers may we learn to pause and rest in knowing that God hears the silent cries of our hearts and before long, mouths will again proclaim God’s greatness and glory.

For all of this May God be Praised.

unity not uniformity

Striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace – Ephesians 4:3

We all have different personalities and yet we are all together in peace and unity in the SFC Community. What binds us together? Our father, St Agustine, wrote, the members of Christ are united among each other by the charity of unity, which at the same time unites them with their Head, who is Jesus Christ.”

From our formation, we are taught that it is an act of love to keep our unity with each other. It is love that unites us. Unity, not uniformity, is the name of the game.

Reflection: do you belong to a Christian community? How do you practice loving each other?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, make us one as You and the Father are one. Only Your grace and Your Holy Spirit can do this in us, Lord, and we pray that You will be with us always. Amen

Nobody is perfect... despite being in the SFC community for a couple of years now, there are still times that our own shortcomings, flaws and emotions get the better of us. Despite all these may we all look past each others’ imperfections without judgement but with genuine care and love as we continue praying for each other to be guided, empowered and molded into the person God wants us to be.

Let us be united as 1 under God’s loving care despite our personal differences as we learn and watch out for each other. Amen.

dream big

“Your faith has saved you.” – Matthew 9:22


I believe God has no problem blessing us. The question is, how much are we willing to receive? The answer lies in how much faith we have. Sometimes we pray for things but we don’t believe enough that we will receive them. How can God place big blessings in small containers?

If we’re willing to settle for small blessings, that’s all we’ll get. But if we want big blessings, we need shopping cart-sized faith.

 

Reflection: What are you praying for? Does your faith match the size of your request?

Prayer: Lord, I choose to believe — big time.

 

let us dream big, pray hard for it and work towards it with the grace and guidance of our God – nothing is impossible with Him!!!!

 

DREAMBIG, HAVE FAITH, OPEN OUR HANDS WIDE AND RECEIVE GOD’S SHOWER OF BLESSINGS!!!

de-clutter

“Because you acted as you did in not withholding from me your beloved son, I will bless you abundantly…” – Genesis 22:16


In this world, there is God, and everything else is “stuff.” Stuff can be money, work, ministry or family. Stuff is neither good nor bad. It only becomes bad if it hinders us from worshipping and loving God.

Oftentimes, we are too attached to stuff. We make it the sole reason for our happiness and meaning. In turn, we feel dissatisfied and empty because we seek happiness in the stuff of God, rather than the God of stuff.


Unstuff today. When you do, you leave a space for God to stuff you with better things.

 

Reflection: Stuff should lead you to God and His purpose for you, not away from Him. Is there any clutter in your life that needs to be unstuffed?


Prayer: Lord, may I have less stuff, and more of You.

 

While God has abundantly blessed us with ways and means to have a comfortable life – may we not forget Him in the midst of all life’s pleasures and seek more of Him, using what He has blessed us with to focus more on Him and be led to our purpose and meaning in life – may we also open our hearts and hands more to bless others as well…

 

We are blessed to bless!

handmade with love

  "Let us not love in word or talk, but in deed and in truth" 
-  1 John 3:18

     

Handmade with love - bookmarks for Chapter A1 brothers and sisters