We are Family

What blessing it is to be invited to join the 2013 CFC-SFC Family Conference!

Usually held every two or three years, we felt blessed that we didn’t have to wait very long to be part of it – even more so when we received the gift of service by preparing the FamCon kits.

We were initially tasked to prepare 100 sets – “easy peasy” we said but when the number of participants rose to 250 we sort of panicked and felt overwhelmed, still we worked on it with fondness and inspiration. We were tired, yes, but in a good way  - even my immediate supervisor commented on how I seemed extra energetic and happy those days we were working on the kits.

We of course got a peek of the talk outline and I remember my household sister telling me in jest to bring not just a hanky but a towel, knowing full well how the topic of Family can pull hard on the heartstrings and how I can be a crybaby at times.

Held as Polaris Academy last August 30, 2013, the Family Conference enabled us to go back to the basics of what family is.

Session One: We are Family

“I won’t be the person I am today without my Family”

I am sure you have heard this phrase countless of times during debut, graduation and other thanks-giving speeches, cliché as it is, it doesn’t make it any less true.

The family is our first most intimate social environment where our characters and identities are initially formed.

Though not always in the strictest sense, whatever we learn from our family – our morals and principles, becomes our core value system that forms our perceptions and becomes the basis of our actions.

Designed and created by God, the bible defines Family as a unit comprising of (a married) man and woman and their children. It is the bedrock of society and as such has the capacity and enormous responsibility of changing the society by being a positive example.

When you think about, as an individual and part of a family, being a role model for the whole of society seems like a daunting task, but to be a catalyst of change we only have to go back to what God’s purpose for the family is: to be the channel by which God passes on His love and other blessings to all of mankind.

Session Two: Starting From Scratch

“Our parents may not be perfect, but they are the most perfect gift God has given us”

As kids, we see our parents as faultless, they are our first role models, our heroes and we expect nothing less than perfect from them. Over time though their own unresolved personal issues resurface, influencing the way they handle the family.

The second session showed us the bigger picture and helped us have an even better grasp of the personal and external factors that can and will affect a marriage.

As sons and daughters it helped us have a better perspective and understanding of the many ‘whys’ of the way our  parents brought us up.

Session Three:  I Belong

“A home... a sense of belonging”

People have the basic need to be part of a group and the family plays the very critical role in fostering a sense of belonging. 

When we were born, it was our family that nurtured and cared for us by providing our basic needs.

As we grew older though, there are times that we feel alienated and neglected because of issues regarding sibling differences, comparison complex and presumed favouritism in the family.

The third session teaches us that thru acceptance and coming to terms with our own faults we can get past our hurts and pains. We can either choose to dwell on the negative and self destruct or work past these issues and be the person God intended us to be.

Session Four: Shattered Dreams

“It is better to give that to receive”

We are all taught the importance of giving, but when we are at the receiving end, greed and selfishness takes over and all we want to do is take, take and take some more without realizing that true happiness comes from the act of giving. 

Session Five: Picking up the Pieces

“Keep calm and let God”

 

We all have, at one point in our lives, felt lost and broken but essentially the choice is within us to either wallow in self-pity and anger or turn things around and be a better person despite it all. 

By recognizing and coming to terms with our own faults and allowing God to take control of our lives, we can begin the process of healing and building our future in accordance to what God has planned for us.

Session Six: Vessel of Hope

“Change must start from within”

Now that we have acknowledged the presence of God in our lives, we can start the process of change in within ourselves thereby creating a ripple effect in our family, the society and the whole of humanity.

Ending the conference was a lively praisefest with choice worship songs that echoed our emotions. The event truly was remarkable with inspiring speakers and sharers; excitement inducing performances and thought provoking activities.

One activity that struck me was the one where we were asked to write a letter to our parents. 

I honestly did not know how to begin writing the letter. I grew up in a family that isn’t really showy and vocal when it comes to emotions, and though we have long since learned to value the importance of expressing affection thru words and actions, there is still that teeny teeny tiny part of me that is reserved – maybe because I don’t want to come off as cheesy or something, I don’t know…

When I think about it, it even seems ironic because I’ve shared more of my deepest thoughts and emotions during Household meetings and other SFC activities when there are some things that I still can’t share with my family – they don’t even know that I am part of the SFC community.

So I started the letter by writing about SFC,  gradually I found myself writing more and more about my feelings, telling my parents how much I love and thank them.

I was apprehensive when they told us that the letter would be mailed – I had the impression we are to keep it and give it at our own time when we feel ready. As days passed however I began to feel excited – more than words, that letter contained what I pray would be the beginning of an even stronger family relationship centred in God.

Family – they have the power to give us immense joy or tormenting pain but at the end of day they still ARE our family… they belong to us and we to them…

… I brought a towel by the way, but lost it so I had to wipe the tears away with my sleeve – thank God for the gift of tears!!!